A Reason for Being Here

When Shad and I first moved into our apartment complex at the beginning of July, Shad had seen someone assisting a young woman out of a car and into a wheel chair.  The car was parked in a handicapped parking spot right near ours.  Yesterday, as I was coming home from work, there was someone parked in my spot, and I recognized it as the car that used to always park in the handicapped spot, which was now a regular parking spot.  I didn't say anything and just parked somewhere else.  An hour or so later, Shad and I were walking out to his car to go to the bookstore, and Shad saw a lady walking a short distance ahead of us.  I guess he recognized her and thought she might be the owner of the car parked in my spot, so he asked her if this was her car.  She apologized-- yes, this was her car, actually her daughter's car, she thought she'd be gone by the time we got home from work, it was much easier to park here, she was clearing out her daughter's apartment, her daughter that just passed away at the end of July.  Then she broke down in tears.

Her daughter, Debra Bates, had just turned 34 when she passed away from breast cancer this past July.  She was diagnosed when she was 31, had a surgery to remove the cancer, and she appeared to have beaten it.  Two years ago, she moved into our apartment complex to make a new start, right across the hall from us.  She was a dancer and a manager at Harold's.  But they didn't get all the cancer.  It resurfaced and spread to her lymph nodes and bones.  She spent the last four months of her life in Hospice, with her mom sleeping next to her in a cot.  The last stages of her life she was crippled and in a wheel chair, which is when Shad saw her in the parking lot.  Her mother, Sherry, was just now getting around to cleaning out her daughter's apartment.  It needs to be vacant by Saturday.

You hear about this all the time.  But for some reason, this really hit home for me.  Thirty-four.  I just cannot imagine.  What I have an easier time understanding is that I was meant to run into her, there was a reason she was parked in my spot, a reason Shad recognized her and spoke to her, a reason she opened up to us, a reason for being here.  I felt such a connection with her-- something I can't really explain.  We exchanged information and I'm hoping to help her finish cleaning the apartment this evening.  Nothing would make me happier.

Comments

[Lauren]

I know her mother will love having you there to help, Shayne. I'll say a prayer for her...

[Paige]

This was very moving. Thank you for sharing.

Your favorite sis,

[Nicole Hilario - Chicago]

Thank you for sharing Shayne. I can't get enough of your writings here - I feel very connected to your beautiful soul. You are an angel. I know the same earth angels will appear in your families lives to help them in their loss. You are exponentially generous in your love, your heart was too big for this earth. You have a true gift of being fully and genuinely present with those around you - you were so loved. My you rest in peace sweet Shayne. I look forward to knowing you on the other side. Much love and endless blessings, Nicole Hilario